Trying to keep this one short:
- Wearing purple tomorrow is just a sign of memorialization. It’s not a sign that gay suicide is more important than suicide in general. It does not indicate any difference. If at all, they are both equally worthy of being honored tomorrow.
- There are so many other factors that contribute to why wearing purple tomorrow for gay people who have committed suicide is very popular right now.
- To each his own, but what an insensitive and ignorant moron.
- If you really think that gays who have committed suicide are overshadowing all those who are not gay and have committed suicide, then you would start a spirit day in honor of them that is just as popular as tomorrow.
- This is all in the spirit of the inequality that faces our generation today, and simply wearing purple tomorrow signifies that we are a generation who cares about the struggle of misrepresented groups such as gays. Tomorrow will just be commemorating the mistreatment gays in particular have experienced. I’m sure people who are not gay and have committed suicide have experienced similar mistreatment. People should stop looking at the trivial details, but rather at the big picture of inequality that is at hand.
- It’s like, you are so smart because you can think critically, but so narrow-minded because you can’t apply such critical thinking to a larger cause.
(via tiveyiffy)
Reblog if You hate how Straight Guys are against Gay Guys, but they love it when Girls are Lesbians or Bisexual.
-.- SMH
(via trishuhhh)
kei, so…
daily updates? obviously not. i have decided not to use any capital letters in my posts unless they warrant true importance. you shall be irked at the lack of capitalization. -.-
as much as i thought typed word would set me free….it doesn’t. there are still countless restraints in what is proper to type about. FUCK IT. i don’t care about what people think (hence the “no friends” ) and i never want to care what other people think. this is what i believe and you know what?…it doesn’t matter. ‘cause everyone has their own belief system and they will do what they want according to what they believe no matter what anyone (ANYONE) thinks. this realization is not new to me, not new to anyone…it’s just that no one wants to admit it. FUCK IT. i’m admitting it. I AM ADMITTING IT. FUCK, PUSSYFOOTING AROUND! i admit it……. you’d better get used to it. X)
…………………………….
my life has been full of pain and disappointment… as the mayor of casterbridge would say “life is a series of disappointments and episodes of pain”. how right he was and continues to be. i want more than i deserve, i know that. as much as i refuse to believe i want to live in a fairytale, i do want to. fuck the media, fuck my mother and father, fuck everyone i’ve ever met that has convinced me that i deserve a fairytale life. it’s ingrained in every girl…and that’s why we’re all fucked up (well, in part). i don’t want to be enslaved by these notions. i try my best every fucking day to break free. to just be me…. but people don’t like that. i tread alone in a sea of denial. fml.
Matt (the confused one)
Here’s a little story that happened long ago (9 years ago) in a far away land (High School).
There are three characters involved: Matt, the confused one; Ivan, the “other guy” and myself.
The story begins at a random moment in the middle of my senior year. I am walking towards the cafeteria to buy hot cheetos and a water bottle to take with me to the library (yes, I ate inside the library…I was one bad, bad girl). On my way I passed a group of interesting (WEIRD) people hanging out around a guy with very long hair that was playing guitar(Matt). It seemed that the people in the group were friends by their demeanor towards each other (typical punching, pulling down of pants, piggy-backing, etc…). The guitar playing, long haired dude looks up from his guitar as I walk by. He stops and waves me over.
I look around to see if he’s talking to someone else but no…it’s me he’s gesturing to. I was not pleased. I wanted my cheetos and I wanted to go to the library and read (nerd, clear). I grudgingly went over to see what in the world this weird person had to say to me. (Insert small talk, I don’t remember what was said) Eventually he asks me to “hang out” with him and his “friends” (I later found out that it was his way of showing “interest”). In school we’d hang out for lunch sometimes….
We ended up going for pizza with one of his friends like a week later. His friend and him were funny so everything was cool for the time being. Another time he asked if I wanted to go with them to the public library (YEAAH! LOVE THE LIBRARY!) and yet another we ended up going to his friend’s favorite Italian cuisine hole in the wall. I thought it was all nice. It’s hard for me to make friends you know?
He didn’t just want to be friends. On that last “date”, he asked his friend to give us a few minutes alone. His friend went to talk with the owner of the joint (which apparently he was related to) while Matt and I went on a short walk to where there was a patch of grass. We sat down and he looked over at me (I knew what he was going to do at that very second -.-) and kissed me. I humored him for a second then pulled away. It was awkward and neither of us really said anything…we chose to not talk about it but it was pretty obvious that I wasn’t feeling it.
We continued to hang out during lunch sometimes. He’d visit me in my AP Art History class and we’d chill while I sculpted. I guess that to him meant that we were dating because one day he found out that I had gone on a date (house party) with a guy named Ivan. To this day I don’t know how he found out about that…hmmm.
Anyhoo, he barged into my class and demanded an explanation of why I was cheating on him in front of everyone (even the teacher). Mrs. Obregon gave me permission to step outside and deal with the situation. Needless to say, I was quite confused. But he was MUCH more confused. I told him I couldn’t be cheating on him if we weren’t a couple. He told me he thought we were. I calmly told him that we had never discussed being in a relationship. He said that the night we kissed it was an unspoken understanding. I then asked him how he could think that after the fact that I pulled away and we NEVER kissed again after that! And he said he wasn’t the “affectionate type” and he thought I wasn’t either. UGH! I told him to leave me alone, that I wasn’t his girlfriend and that I would date whoever I felt like dating. Well, he stormed off with tears in his eyes after declaring that I had broken his heart. -.-
Fast forward about 8 years (May ish 2009). He finds me on Myspace. -.- He apologizes, I apologize for being mean. He wants to be friends again…I tell him I’ll think about it…I go to watch his band perform. I get comfortable around him and his band mates. Everyone is friendly and cool. Drive home…he tries to kiss me. HOLD UP! No way! We said FRIENDS. He backs off and apologizes…then asks me to be his girlfriend. Of course I said NO! Maybe he doesn’t understand the term “just friends”. Regardless…I tell him to chill out. I don’t want anything but friendship from him. He says ok. Then decides to be extra mushy and weird on Myspace…everyone starts to think we’re dating. I message him and tell him to tone it down. I appreciate him trying to be nice but he’s taking it a little too far. He gets angry and deletes me off his friends’ list. I’m kinda glad cause I would have deleted him eventually. Saved me the trouble. X)
I see him on campus today while I’m going to the student store. Our gazes meet. He says hello. I say hello. (Awkward silence…) I say, ok I have to go, bye. He says nothing but watches me go until I’m out of sight. I take extra long in the store to make sure he wont be there when I come out…he’s gone. Thank Goodness! I hope I don’t run into him again…
Vincent and Kuruma
My day started at 6:15 yesterday morning. I got up, showered, got ready, woke Vince up, got him ready and we bolted out the door to catch breakfast at school. Too bad they didn’t serve it this morning. -.- (He got breakfast later tho.) Met teacher (Pretty and sweet), stayed to make sure he was adjusting well…(he didn’t need mommy…he’s a big boy, X/) , went to parent meeting, ran home to get car, took car to get VIN inspection, got pulled over by CHP for lack of recent registration (DUH), got off with a minor fine, drove home to do HW while waiting for brake and lights guy to open, drove to guy and got certificate, drove to DMV (fml the line was LOOOOOONNNNGGGGG), waited an hour to be seen, 5 minutes later I’m off to pick up Vince to drive to my school to drop him off at daycare so I can go to class (daycare teacher seems pretty cool, assistants are nice too), (oh crap I forgot directions to school! back home for a few mins then on the road to school), dropped Vince off, looked for parking, found it half a block away, brisk walk to class, made it 7 minutes before class started. 2 classes, quiz in math, picking up of son, driving to BK for chicken tenders for son, driving home and hanging with bf online. Yes, that’s the jist of mah day. *sigh*
Remind me to ask if I can pay that fine by mail or over phone cause I don’t haz time to go to court.
Kuruma is sleeping on the street today to mark her street legality, hehe.
It’s 12:16 nao and it’s time for me to chat wiff my tired bf for a little while then knock the eff out.
X)
Stress
Yes, I’ve been stressed out lately. More than usual. I don’t expect anyone to put up with me but at the same time I can’t deal with jokes and/or people screaming at me. I’m at a breaking point. I fly off the handle at the drop of a hat and I feel like crying all day, everyday.
I try to keep my my issues to myself so I can work on them at my own pace…I don’t open up because people always want me to move way too fast. I know they’re only trying to help…but I can’t use that kind of help. If someone pushes me…I instinctively push back. I’ve been hurt enough to be wary and stubborn. I will deal with things MY way…none need be involved in my healing process. With all that’s happened in my life, I fear the healing process might takes eons.
Pushing, forcing, expecting…counterproductive to my immediate needs.
Encouragement, understanding, praise…I long for it with every fiber of my being.
Sometimes I hear my family talking about me behind my back…just about every time it’s about all the things I’ve done wrong.
I feel useless, inadequate, a burden to all.
Today…uncle and father talked whilst they believed me to be unaware of their private conversation. They were proud of me going back to school. Although, they’d never say it to my face, I was overcome with confidence. Short lived of course because after that came the fear of failure. I don’t want to disappoint anymore.
In the end it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters but it’s nice to get oppressive feelings of your chest. I’ll just put my head down and do my homework…as useless as I am, I can’t go around wantonly wasting space…
Busy, busy, busy…
What with the school, homework, preparing for Vince’s school, childcare, financial aid issues, car issues and over all family issues I have had 0 inspiration to update. Ugh. So much going on and so little time to get it done! At least I’m officially a full time student and I can take advantage of the financial aid available to me. If only they’d SEND it already. X(
I’ll update on more later…I have HW to do…*sigh*
Took Mickey to my brother’s godmother’s house. He was very scared and shy at first (like always) but he warmed up to his new surroundings and hopefully will get along great with his new buddies. We’ll miss him but we’re glad he went to a home that can take good care of him. 2 doggies at a time is enough for us. =)
Mickey’s last day here. We’ll be taking him to his new home shortly.As much as I dislike nervous, shy dogs…I’m gonna miss him a bit. It was so difficult for all of us to try to not get attached to the little fella’. Hopefully they take good care of him at his new home.I’ll take some farewell pics and share them with everyone…whether you care to see them or not is beside the point.
All I want is to remember Mylo’s brother. ♥
